Wednesday, October 10, 2007

TEACHERS STRIKE ONE

Shveeta Shalom, everybody.

I earned 50 shekel collecting deposit bottles and cans while I jogged on a lonely mountain.
Do I have to pay it to the strike fund?

. . .

. . .

I just received this letter, and sent it off to join its thousands of brethren. Aren't you tired of getting these phony messages in your IN BOX all the time? Who in their right minds would ever fall for such a scam of spam? Or do I say spam of scam?


Subject: A cry for help DEAR FRIEND AND ILLUSTRIOUS COLLEAGE,
Allow us to draw the most insignificant sum of six hundred shekels from your bank account, and become a full partner to share millions
of dollars.

Through the priviledge of membership in the Irgun Morim, the national teachers' union,, i take liberty anchored on a strong desire to solicit your assistance on this mutually beneficial transaction which i hope you will give your urgent attention.i am mr.Rumm Errors, the chairman of the association of educators now known as IrGun Hamrorim ha Al Yesodium. i am moved to write you this letter ,this was in confidence considering our present circumstance and complex situation. My uncle was dictator and chairman of this organization until he was forcibly removed last January. Due to this pressing situation we decided to change most of my union's billions of dollars deposited in swiss bank and other countries into other forms of money coded for safe purpose. What i want you to do now is to indicate your interest that you will assist us by receiving the money on our behalf. the account required for this project can either be personal,company or an offshore account that you have total control over,your area of specialisation will not be a hinderance to the successful execution of this transaction. i want you to assist us in investing this money,but i will not want our identity revealed, especially to the fraud units. .i will also want to buy properties and stocks in multi-national companies and to engage in other safe and non speculative investments.we have been through a lot of health and spiritual turmoil,hence will need your understanding and assistance.
may i at this point emphasize the high level of confidentiallity which this business demands and hope you will not betray the trust and confidence which we repose in you. is this proposition attainable?if it is,please kindly furnish me immediately by e-mail with your direct telephone and fax numbers to enhance the confidentiallity which this business demands. Unfortunately I lack even the most basic sums of money to purchase a ticket to get to the safety deposit boxes where the inheritance is held. If you could possibly spare the pittance of NIS 600 (Six hundred Sheklels,) until the strike is settled and untold wealth will be showered upon you.
Perhaps you are wondering how I have the temerity to invite you to participate in a scheme in which you have much to lose and I have much to gain, and that this is a transparent attempt to separate you and your money.
Rest assured that enough people have cheerfully partd with their six hundred shekels already, otherwise we'd never do this in he first place.


Best regardsmr.
Arm Errs
Heir to the recently deposed previous chairman
of the National Teachers' Bunion.


/ See the last several years of postings at this site: http://www.etni.org.il/teachers/barry/barry.htm

Sunday, October 7, 2007

BARRY'S BEST CLIPS EVER

What is more annoying than 'friends' who E -mail you things you don't want?
Like, appliances, stocks, potions to expand the shrivelled and contract the swollen, offers to meet dream dates of the opposite or synonymous sex, and jokes, jokes and puns and cartoons that you first saw when you cut your first mouseteeth on Windows for Workgroups? What 's more annoying? It's friends who head their letter with, "I never pass on stuff like this, but this time. . ." and then it gushes out: An urgent warning that Earth's orbit is nearing intersection with Mars. A new virus has infected your screen and you must paint over all the mirrors in your house and not flush the toilet or it will destroy your hard disk, your pacemaker and your electric prune.

Well, . . .
I never pass on stuff like this, but lately I've found, or bin sent some clips, sites URL's so funny that I want to make a little nest wheere they can cuddle up and you can see them at leisure.

So here's the one where Captain Kirk and Spock meet Monty Python's King Arthur:

http://www.milkandcookies.com/link/48608/detail/
(googling Python and Star Trek will do just fine).

Here is Taylor Mali's rant against proofreading: Great spelling lesson but not for the delicate ears of younger pupils:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FjhOBiSk8Gg

I had another one but it slipped thru a hole in my mind. Asher sent me a candid camera sketch where women have agreed to take part in a toothpaste ad, which will involve kissing a good looking male model. As soon as they don blindfolds, the men are replaced with chimpanzees (I couldn't tell if the chimps were male or female). As this brought on a host of issues that touch me personally, I could not watch til the end and I'm not including it here.

So this is my little Blog Spott for tonight folks.

I am quite unnerved by the huge teachers' strike which is looming overhead.
Today was my free day, following 2 weeks of Sukkot, and I was all psyched up not to teach tomorrow. Now they announced that there will be two more days teaching til the Irgun Tsunami strikes our shores. That means that tomorrow, 18% of the kids will stay home and claim they thought it already started, and the rest of them will be on the ceiling.
I can hardly wait.

Barry Silverberg